biblos.com & Soul Food Bible

Beck here.

I accepted the truth of Jesus in April of 2001...so, for 10 years now I have been getting to know God. Wow,10 years. Crazy. Over those years I have had some amazing times of growth and intimacy with God, but I have spent a large portion of that time (too large of a portion of that time) distracted. I think those years in school I kept telling myself that when I was done with school and didn't have so much homework and so many after school commitments I surely would have the time and desire to really pursue God and dig into scripture and figure it all out. Welp, that was really silly of me to think such a thing. I guess I never realized the pattern--> Elementary school is more time consuming than pre school and with it comes more responsibility and commitment. Middle school is more time consuming than elementary school and with it come more responsibility and commitment. High school is more time consuming than middle school and with it comes more responsibility and commitment. College is more time consuming than high school and with it come more responsibility and commitment. Not sure why I thought it would, but the pattern doesn’t stop there. Now, after college, I have only found life to be more time consuming than before and with it has come even more responsibility and commitment.

All that to say that in my 10 years following Jesus I have spent way too little time really focusing on HIS words...meaning the red letters...the words of Jesus himself. I have read Proverbs more times that I can count...Practically memorized Romans, James and Ephesians...The Corinthians, I know well....but the words of Jesus (and Revelations...eek) I have neglected. I know...it sounds rather messed up if you ask me. I call myself a follower of Jesus and yet I don’t obsess over his words...or just focus on the ones that make the most sense to me. My thinking...if I can memorized a great deal of the words to the 4,399 songs in my itunes, why in the world have I not memorized the words of the one who I claim to have the most importance in my life. Errr. It hurts a lot more to write it out like this than to just think about then put it off for a few more months.

So, feeling rather silly for ignoring and putting off an obsession with the words of Jesus for way too long, I picked up my Bible four days ago and started reading. Matthew. I made it about half way through Matthew 5 before I remembered why it was so easy for me to neglect the words of Jesus. Why? Jesus is a confusing fellow to read.

Now, for a few years I have used two websites pretty exclusively to help me in studying scripture. Both great resources, however, I have found them lacking in my new found exploration of the words of Jesus. What I really want is some biblical scholar to sit across the table from me and explain the meaning of words and the relevance of what Jesus is preaching about and then make sense of verses like, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth,” or “But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven...” I read verses like those and think...what does it mean to be meek in this context? What does it mean to inherit the earth? What do you mean I can store treasure up for myself in heaven...won’t we all be pretty angels playing harps for all eternity in heaven...why would I want to store up treasure in heaven...will that even matter as long as I am in heaven? As I was reading I found myself having more questions than there were verses to read. So, google is my best friend. I started searching and found www.biblo.com!! What an amazing resource!! I have been glued to my Bible and computer for two days now. What an amazing feeling to have a hunger for the word that is being feed. I listened to a sermon by one of my favorite speakers, Mark Moore, on this topic just today. He said many great things in this particular sermon...check it out here: SoulFoodBible, but the thing that stuck out to me the most is this...”that the bible is the only spiritual discipline that is compared to food in the bible its self. The bible is literally our diet and if we don’t eat it we will literally starve.” I hear this and I think its no wonder there have been too many season in my life when I feel completely depleted and, as much as I tried, nothing could fill me up except sitting down with the bible. Why does it always take so long for me to figure this out.

My prayer is that I would never lose this feeling. I desire deeply for the WORD OF GOD to be my diet...may I also challenge you to find a craving for it. It is the only thing that revives the soul, is truly trustworthy, brings pure joy, brings light and will stand when nothing else remains (Psalms 19.7-11).

@ Whole Foods

I so miss sitting still and spending time journaling, talking with God, writing music, and being alone. Who would have ever guessed that an extrovert such as myself would long for solitude. My college years and the year following it allowed me to have a lot of time to myself...studying, writing, working at the cafe, reading. I loved those times then, but never realized that as we get older and life gets more and more full with things like husbands, babies and "jobs" (quick side note: I say job with bunny ears because it sure doesn't feel like a job! I get to hang out with some of the most amazing ladies I know and have loads of fun and talk about Jesus...so not a job) those alone times become something that we have to work for...they are no longer built in nor easy to come by.

So, here I am, at Whole Foods feeling blessed that my dinner meeting is running late and I am left sitting here...alone. Is it not when we are alone that we truly have the space to face God? Is it not when we are alone that we truly get to face the truth of ourselves?

Now, I don't want to be misunderstood here. I would never ever trade my life today for anything. I have an amazing and challenging marriage, an amazing and challenging child, and an amazing and challenging "job"...perfect. What I am saying here is more a reflection on something my Mama Holland has been talking a lot about these days. As we get older and the responsibilities pile on (marriage, children, jobs, friends, bills, loan payments, insurace, and the list goes on...) somewhere along the way, at some unknow time we start losing ourselves in all the things we become a part of and all the things we spending time doing. I feel rather thankful to have a Mama who can make me aware of such a thing so that 10 years from now I don't look back and wonder where I lost myself. My mom has made me aware that one of the best ways I can take care of others is by taking care of myself and my relationship with God.

So, awareness is only a small part of the equation, right. What's my next step? Such a good question. I used to be the sort that would make five year plans and check lists. These days I follow my husband's advice and focus only on my NEXT STEP. My next step? Guylan wakes up earliest 7:30...so I will be up at 6:45am. I am also going to take Thursday evenings and treat them as a Sabbath. Solitude here I come.

Hope you find time for solitude in your life.

Becky

10 Months.

Nap time for Guylan. Reflection time for me. Mmmm...

I can't believe it has been 10 months since we posted on here last. There is good reason for that. Life has been CRAZY. Crazy awesome, but crazy none the less. Life has been mellowing out a bit. Maybe mellowing isn't the right word. Nathan is working full time at a recruiting firm and part time at our church. I am working full time at the church with an amazing group of students. And of course we have our sweet little babe running around in all this. Thus, life is still CRAZY. Crazy awesome, but crazy none the less. Amongst the crazy, we have been falling into a good groove and I feel like we are getting a really good feel for things around here.

We are having an awesome week around here. Things are getting really exciting as we are preparing for our youth group to go to CAMP!!!! :) Next week is going to be an awesome week!!

Man, I sure can feel it on my insides when I am not consistently spending time pursuing God through his word and reflecting on it.

I discovered the International House of Prayer website this week! What an amazing thing! IHOP is a ministry that is “committed to praying for the release of the fullness of God’s power.” How do they do this? The have a 24/7 Prayer Room that either has worship or intercessory prayer happening all day everyday! Now, the best part...they have a free webstream on their website!! The first day I discovered the site I listened to it for half the day straight. It is just lovely.

Well, sorry for the random thoughts. Time to spend a few minutes in the Word before Guy wakes up.

Hope you all are well.

Moving to Franklin, Tennessee!

As you may have heard, Becky and I will be moving to Tennessee on September 8^th! Many of you have asked about this quick decision, so I have decided to write a blog about how it came to happen. A little over a month ago, Becky and I took a trip down to Franklin, TN (Nashville area) visit her parents. It was a great, relaxing vacation time besides the multiple dentist visits J. Among many fun things with Becky’s family, we were also able to hang out with some of our good friends that have previously moved to that area. One night, we drove over to Smyrna, TN and spent some quality time with our friends Jared and Katie. We were able to talk about life and enjoy getting caught up. Those of you who know us probably know that Becky and I have a few life ministries including our marriage, our child, and the band Never Say When. Therefore, we naturally got on the topic of Never Say When while talking to Jared, who majored in music business at Belmont University and is working part-time at BMI. The conversation drifted to the fact that we know the band can provide a good, professional product, but we need a manager because we are terrible at the business side of things. Jared, possibly half-jokingly, said that he could manage the band. And the thoughts began.

I found myself bitten by the Nashville bug. For the first time in my life, I knew exactly what I wanted. I want to worship GOD and encourage and challenge others through music and be able to support my family doing it. Becky found great joy in the fact that I was getting passionately excited about something because she, without telling me, had been praying for GOD to light a fire under me.

Along with thoughts and dreams about music, Becky and I also had to think about reality. We had to somehow make some money in order to meet our budget every month. Along with paying rent in Macomb, IL and everything else that goes into a budget, December will bring the beginning of MANY LARGE payments for school loans. We needed something through which GOD could provide us with money. The summer session of children’s music classes was over, all of our music students stopped taking lessons, Becky was unable to keep working shifts at Café Aroma and still nurse Guy…Macomb stopped looking so promising. At that point, Becky and I decided it would be a good time to start touring full-time. So, why would we want to pay rent for a space to live in Macomb if we want to be musicians that travel a lot? Along with all this, the band, being our prime ministry, had been very inactive for the summer since we had a baby and the other members were working in their own niches. Therefore, we talked to the band members and told them we may be taking some duo gigs to help pay the bills. Although doors seemed to be closing in Macomb, other doors were opening in TN. We had found a wonderful man that could be the manager of Never Say When (Jared), meaning that Becky and I could actually make our musical, worshipful calling come true. We also have family there that could give us lots of support, help, and love. And, our Grandma Dorothy has agreed to let Becky and I stay in her vacant house for a while. Therefore, Becky and I don’t have to worry about making a large rent payment every month. Rather, we can focus on making Never Say When our primary, full-time ministry!

After much prayer and thought, I decided that it would be the best thing for my family to move to TN. We told the other members of the band and made sure they understood that even though the future of the band is uncertain, they are more than welcome to continue with us now as Never Say When. We are leaving those decisions up to them and GOD. While there are many challenges, emotions, uncertainties, and much hard work built into this decision, I finally know what GOD is calling me to do. There are things, and most importantly, people in Macomb that we will miss, but Becky and I need to take this chance to pursue what we believe to be GOD’s calling for our life. While we could live anywhere in the world and rely on part-time jobs to pay the bills while half-heartedly chasing after our musical career, there is no way we would ever be fulfilled. Devoting ourselves to music for the sake of the Lord is the only way I can be fulfilled in my current life. We would definitely appreciate any prayers that you would like to send our way!

(For Comparison)

So, I have been told that Guylan looks just like me (Becky) when I was a baby. Here is a my newborn picture...what do you think?

Me

Guy

So, do you think?

-Beck

2 months already!!

Guylan is 2 months old today! Wow!! I just can’t believe how fast time just flies by.

Yesterday was a day full of cleaning and preparing to leave for the weekend to go visit Ma & Pa Holland. The way I most enjoy cleaning and getting stuff done around the house these days is putting Guylan into our Moby Wrap. There are so many reasons I just love having him in the wrap. I love having him close to me. With him in the wrap he knows where I am – right next to him. I also like that he is able to see everything I am doing. I feel like he is just a sponge, absorbing everything in his environment and when he can move around with me in the wrap I can tell him what I am doing and keep him mentally occupied. He also takes his best naps in the wrap. Well-rested babies eat well and well-fed babies sleep well and babies that sleep and eat well are happy and happy babies equal happy mommies. Get the picture. :) Wraps are just great.

While I was cleaning today Guy fell asleep in the wrap, like normal. Since he loves sleeping in the wrap, I secured his head to my chest with part of the wrap and continued on cleaning. I finished the kitchen where everything I was doing involved me standing (dishes, wiping down counters, etc.) and moved on to the living room. Now, in the living room there were a lot of things on the floor that needed to be picked up, so I had to bend down and grab them, stand back up and put it where ever it was supposed to go, then go back to grab the next thing. After bending down to pick up the first thing Guylan gave a grunt as I stood up. I looked down at him to make sure I was not hurting him and there he was…head rested against my chest, dead asleep. So I giggled at him and bent down to grab then next thing. He did it again, and again, and again. Man, he is just too cute. As I was listening to him grunt I was reminded of his first week of life. When Guy was a newborn every time we would shift him he would grunt just like today. I hadn’t realized that he stopped making that noise a while ago. It was such a sweet sound. I just can’t believe how much he has already changed.

I just love our little man so much. What a great blessing. I could just stare at him for hours in amazement. How remarkable our GOD is that he could take and egg and a sperm and turn it in to a human and that that human grew in my belly!! Wow!! I will forever stand in awe of HIS capabilities.

The Day GOD Helped Me Install a Trailer Hitch

Becky and I decided to install a trailer hitch on our amazing Town and Country so Never Say When could be comfortable when we traveled on tour this summer. We ordered the hitch and it arrived on Wednesday of last week. If you know how much I know about cars and stuff, you would probably laugh if I said that Becky and I wanted to install it ourselves to save some money. I read the instructions and figured out what tools we needed. That evening I drove to Farm King and picked up a 3/8" drive socket set and a set of wrenches in case I needed them. I also picked up the ball mount for the hitch. Then I went to AutoZone and rented a 3/8" drive torque wrench on their Loan-a-Tool program that a friend had told me about. This way I could use the new sockets I just got on the torque wrench. I got home and figured out that the 3/8" drive torque wrench gives inch-pounds of torque and I needed foot-pounds of torque from a 1/2" drive torque wrench for this project. So Becky and I headed back out in a wicked storm and returned the socket set and got a 1/2" drive set then returned the wrench and got one with a 1/2" drive. Then Barry, who told me about the Loan-a-Tool program, allowed me to use his jack stands.

GOD thing #1: I got all the tools I needed without having to spend a lot of money on stuff that I would rarely use.

Becky and I had an open day today. I was very anxious and excited to get the hitch on! I went out and got the van up onto the jack stands as high as they would go. The van wasn't super stable, but I thought it was stable enough. The first thing in the instructions had me taking off a bumper bolt that required an 18mm socket. Though the set I bought didn't have an 18mm, I assumed a 17 or 19 would work well enough.....WRONG. Becky decided she wanted to go with me to get the new socket which meant getting the van down so we could take the baby in the car seat. I put the jack under the van and started lifting. Apparently I didn't get the jack straight on because it shifted the van and caused it to drift sideways. It bent the platform on both of the jack stands as they, along with the jack, got stuck under the van which was now back on its wheels. OOPS! I was able to get the broken jack and stands out, but I wasn't the happiest camper.

GOD thing #2: Becky decided to go with me to the store so the van "fell" when I was getting it down and no one was under it!

GOD thing #3: The van is not messed up! The jack and stands did not puncture or break any important things when they got stuck under the van.

So our trip to Farm King turned from a $6 trip to a $76 dollar trip. We got the 18mm socket, sturdy new jack stands, a new jack and a much happier Nathan.

GOD thing #4: GOD provided us with some savings so Becky and I didn't have to freak when we had to spend some unexpected money.

We got back to the apartment and I got to work again. I wanted to move quickly because it looked like a rain storm was coming. I got the van back up and started to remove bolts. I followed the directions which had me remove the brackets for the rear stabalizer bar. When we held the hitch up in position, I found that I was following the wrong set of directions (it came with 2 sets for differing vehicles). I quickly found that I didn't need to take off the stabalizer bar brackets and it should be easier than planned! I continued working and figured I would put the bar back on when I was done. I found that one of the nuts that was built into the frame was giving me a problem because it somehow got stripped or something. This made it hard to get the bolt in, but thankfully the torque wrench gave enough leverage to smash it in tightly (even to the correct amount of torque according to the directions).

GOD thing #5: The messed up nut ended up taking the really difficult bolt!

The most finicky part of the project was next. I had to feed a spacer and a bolt up into the enclosed frame through a hole so the bolt would come down through the spacer and through the hole so I could put a nut on the bolt outside the frame. I managed to get the spacer in but the bolt would not fit through the hole it was supposed to go through. I didn't know what to do since it was one of only three bolts on each side of the hitch. I had to have it and it didn't fit though the hole. On a whim I tried to put the bolt through another hole and it fit! And guess what? This hole would have been half-covered by the stabalizer bracket that I took off by mistake! If I wasn't following the wrong directions I probably would have given up because this bolt just didn't fit!

GOD thing #6: I followed the wrong directions and accidentally uncovered the hole that allowed me to get the bolt into the frame.

I put the stabalizer bar back on and double checked the torque on all the hitch bolts to make sure they were tight enough according to the directions. I was done as it was just beginning to sprinkle.

GOD thing #7: GOD held off the rain.

GOD thing #8: The hitch is on and ready!


GOD is good,
Nathan