biblos.com & Soul Food Bible

Beck here.

I accepted the truth of Jesus in April of 2001...so, for 10 years now I have been getting to know God. Wow,10 years. Crazy. Over those years I have had some amazing times of growth and intimacy with God, but I have spent a large portion of that time (too large of a portion of that time) distracted. I think those years in school I kept telling myself that when I was done with school and didn't have so much homework and so many after school commitments I surely would have the time and desire to really pursue God and dig into scripture and figure it all out. Welp, that was really silly of me to think such a thing. I guess I never realized the pattern--> Elementary school is more time consuming than pre school and with it comes more responsibility and commitment. Middle school is more time consuming than elementary school and with it come more responsibility and commitment. High school is more time consuming than middle school and with it comes more responsibility and commitment. College is more time consuming than high school and with it come more responsibility and commitment. Not sure why I thought it would, but the pattern doesn’t stop there. Now, after college, I have only found life to be more time consuming than before and with it has come even more responsibility and commitment.

All that to say that in my 10 years following Jesus I have spent way too little time really focusing on HIS words...meaning the red letters...the words of Jesus himself. I have read Proverbs more times that I can count...Practically memorized Romans, James and Ephesians...The Corinthians, I know well....but the words of Jesus (and Revelations...eek) I have neglected. I know...it sounds rather messed up if you ask me. I call myself a follower of Jesus and yet I don’t obsess over his words...or just focus on the ones that make the most sense to me. My thinking...if I can memorized a great deal of the words to the 4,399 songs in my itunes, why in the world have I not memorized the words of the one who I claim to have the most importance in my life. Errr. It hurts a lot more to write it out like this than to just think about then put it off for a few more months.

So, feeling rather silly for ignoring and putting off an obsession with the words of Jesus for way too long, I picked up my Bible four days ago and started reading. Matthew. I made it about half way through Matthew 5 before I remembered why it was so easy for me to neglect the words of Jesus. Why? Jesus is a confusing fellow to read.

Now, for a few years I have used two websites pretty exclusively to help me in studying scripture. Both great resources, however, I have found them lacking in my new found exploration of the words of Jesus. What I really want is some biblical scholar to sit across the table from me and explain the meaning of words and the relevance of what Jesus is preaching about and then make sense of verses like, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth,” or “But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven...” I read verses like those and think...what does it mean to be meek in this context? What does it mean to inherit the earth? What do you mean I can store treasure up for myself in heaven...won’t we all be pretty angels playing harps for all eternity in heaven...why would I want to store up treasure in heaven...will that even matter as long as I am in heaven? As I was reading I found myself having more questions than there were verses to read. So, google is my best friend. I started searching and found www.biblo.com!! What an amazing resource!! I have been glued to my Bible and computer for two days now. What an amazing feeling to have a hunger for the word that is being feed. I listened to a sermon by one of my favorite speakers, Mark Moore, on this topic just today. He said many great things in this particular sermon...check it out here: SoulFoodBible, but the thing that stuck out to me the most is this...”that the bible is the only spiritual discipline that is compared to food in the bible its self. The bible is literally our diet and if we don’t eat it we will literally starve.” I hear this and I think its no wonder there have been too many season in my life when I feel completely depleted and, as much as I tried, nothing could fill me up except sitting down with the bible. Why does it always take so long for me to figure this out.

My prayer is that I would never lose this feeling. I desire deeply for the WORD OF GOD to be my diet...may I also challenge you to find a craving for it. It is the only thing that revives the soul, is truly trustworthy, brings pure joy, brings light and will stand when nothing else remains (Psalms 19.7-11).

@ Whole Foods

I so miss sitting still and spending time journaling, talking with God, writing music, and being alone. Who would have ever guessed that an extrovert such as myself would long for solitude. My college years and the year following it allowed me to have a lot of time to myself...studying, writing, working at the cafe, reading. I loved those times then, but never realized that as we get older and life gets more and more full with things like husbands, babies and "jobs" (quick side note: I say job with bunny ears because it sure doesn't feel like a job! I get to hang out with some of the most amazing ladies I know and have loads of fun and talk about Jesus...so not a job) those alone times become something that we have to work for...they are no longer built in nor easy to come by.

So, here I am, at Whole Foods feeling blessed that my dinner meeting is running late and I am left sitting here...alone. Is it not when we are alone that we truly have the space to face God? Is it not when we are alone that we truly get to face the truth of ourselves?

Now, I don't want to be misunderstood here. I would never ever trade my life today for anything. I have an amazing and challenging marriage, an amazing and challenging child, and an amazing and challenging "job"...perfect. What I am saying here is more a reflection on something my Mama Holland has been talking a lot about these days. As we get older and the responsibilities pile on (marriage, children, jobs, friends, bills, loan payments, insurace, and the list goes on...) somewhere along the way, at some unknow time we start losing ourselves in all the things we become a part of and all the things we spending time doing. I feel rather thankful to have a Mama who can make me aware of such a thing so that 10 years from now I don't look back and wonder where I lost myself. My mom has made me aware that one of the best ways I can take care of others is by taking care of myself and my relationship with God.

So, awareness is only a small part of the equation, right. What's my next step? Such a good question. I used to be the sort that would make five year plans and check lists. These days I follow my husband's advice and focus only on my NEXT STEP. My next step? Guylan wakes up earliest 7:30...so I will be up at 6:45am. I am also going to take Thursday evenings and treat them as a Sabbath. Solitude here I come.

Hope you find time for solitude in your life.

Becky

10 Months.

Nap time for Guylan. Reflection time for me. Mmmm...

I can't believe it has been 10 months since we posted on here last. There is good reason for that. Life has been CRAZY. Crazy awesome, but crazy none the less. Life has been mellowing out a bit. Maybe mellowing isn't the right word. Nathan is working full time at a recruiting firm and part time at our church. I am working full time at the church with an amazing group of students. And of course we have our sweet little babe running around in all this. Thus, life is still CRAZY. Crazy awesome, but crazy none the less. Amongst the crazy, we have been falling into a good groove and I feel like we are getting a really good feel for things around here.

We are having an awesome week around here. Things are getting really exciting as we are preparing for our youth group to go to CAMP!!!! :) Next week is going to be an awesome week!!

Man, I sure can feel it on my insides when I am not consistently spending time pursuing God through his word and reflecting on it.

I discovered the International House of Prayer website this week! What an amazing thing! IHOP is a ministry that is “committed to praying for the release of the fullness of God’s power.” How do they do this? The have a 24/7 Prayer Room that either has worship or intercessory prayer happening all day everyday! Now, the best part...they have a free webstream on their website!! The first day I discovered the site I listened to it for half the day straight. It is just lovely.

Well, sorry for the random thoughts. Time to spend a few minutes in the Word before Guy wakes up.

Hope you all are well.

Moving to Franklin, Tennessee!

As you may have heard, Becky and I will be moving to Tennessee on September 8^th! Many of you have asked about this quick decision, so I have decided to write a blog about how it came to happen. A little over a month ago, Becky and I took a trip down to Franklin, TN (Nashville area) visit her parents. It was a great, relaxing vacation time besides the multiple dentist visits J. Among many fun things with Becky’s family, we were also able to hang out with some of our good friends that have previously moved to that area. One night, we drove over to Smyrna, TN and spent some quality time with our friends Jared and Katie. We were able to talk about life and enjoy getting caught up. Those of you who know us probably know that Becky and I have a few life ministries including our marriage, our child, and the band Never Say When. Therefore, we naturally got on the topic of Never Say When while talking to Jared, who majored in music business at Belmont University and is working part-time at BMI. The conversation drifted to the fact that we know the band can provide a good, professional product, but we need a manager because we are terrible at the business side of things. Jared, possibly half-jokingly, said that he could manage the band. And the thoughts began.

I found myself bitten by the Nashville bug. For the first time in my life, I knew exactly what I wanted. I want to worship GOD and encourage and challenge others through music and be able to support my family doing it. Becky found great joy in the fact that I was getting passionately excited about something because she, without telling me, had been praying for GOD to light a fire under me.

Along with thoughts and dreams about music, Becky and I also had to think about reality. We had to somehow make some money in order to meet our budget every month. Along with paying rent in Macomb, IL and everything else that goes into a budget, December will bring the beginning of MANY LARGE payments for school loans. We needed something through which GOD could provide us with money. The summer session of children’s music classes was over, all of our music students stopped taking lessons, Becky was unable to keep working shifts at Café Aroma and still nurse Guy…Macomb stopped looking so promising. At that point, Becky and I decided it would be a good time to start touring full-time. So, why would we want to pay rent for a space to live in Macomb if we want to be musicians that travel a lot? Along with all this, the band, being our prime ministry, had been very inactive for the summer since we had a baby and the other members were working in their own niches. Therefore, we talked to the band members and told them we may be taking some duo gigs to help pay the bills. Although doors seemed to be closing in Macomb, other doors were opening in TN. We had found a wonderful man that could be the manager of Never Say When (Jared), meaning that Becky and I could actually make our musical, worshipful calling come true. We also have family there that could give us lots of support, help, and love. And, our Grandma Dorothy has agreed to let Becky and I stay in her vacant house for a while. Therefore, Becky and I don’t have to worry about making a large rent payment every month. Rather, we can focus on making Never Say When our primary, full-time ministry!

After much prayer and thought, I decided that it would be the best thing for my family to move to TN. We told the other members of the band and made sure they understood that even though the future of the band is uncertain, they are more than welcome to continue with us now as Never Say When. We are leaving those decisions up to them and GOD. While there are many challenges, emotions, uncertainties, and much hard work built into this decision, I finally know what GOD is calling me to do. There are things, and most importantly, people in Macomb that we will miss, but Becky and I need to take this chance to pursue what we believe to be GOD’s calling for our life. While we could live anywhere in the world and rely on part-time jobs to pay the bills while half-heartedly chasing after our musical career, there is no way we would ever be fulfilled. Devoting ourselves to music for the sake of the Lord is the only way I can be fulfilled in my current life. We would definitely appreciate any prayers that you would like to send our way!

(For Comparison)

So, I have been told that Guylan looks just like me (Becky) when I was a baby. Here is a my newborn picture...what do you think?

Me

Guy

So, do you think?

-Beck

2 months already!!

Guylan is 2 months old today! Wow!! I just can’t believe how fast time just flies by.

Yesterday was a day full of cleaning and preparing to leave for the weekend to go visit Ma & Pa Holland. The way I most enjoy cleaning and getting stuff done around the house these days is putting Guylan into our Moby Wrap. There are so many reasons I just love having him in the wrap. I love having him close to me. With him in the wrap he knows where I am – right next to him. I also like that he is able to see everything I am doing. I feel like he is just a sponge, absorbing everything in his environment and when he can move around with me in the wrap I can tell him what I am doing and keep him mentally occupied. He also takes his best naps in the wrap. Well-rested babies eat well and well-fed babies sleep well and babies that sleep and eat well are happy and happy babies equal happy mommies. Get the picture. :) Wraps are just great.

While I was cleaning today Guy fell asleep in the wrap, like normal. Since he loves sleeping in the wrap, I secured his head to my chest with part of the wrap and continued on cleaning. I finished the kitchen where everything I was doing involved me standing (dishes, wiping down counters, etc.) and moved on to the living room. Now, in the living room there were a lot of things on the floor that needed to be picked up, so I had to bend down and grab them, stand back up and put it where ever it was supposed to go, then go back to grab the next thing. After bending down to pick up the first thing Guylan gave a grunt as I stood up. I looked down at him to make sure I was not hurting him and there he was…head rested against my chest, dead asleep. So I giggled at him and bent down to grab then next thing. He did it again, and again, and again. Man, he is just too cute. As I was listening to him grunt I was reminded of his first week of life. When Guy was a newborn every time we would shift him he would grunt just like today. I hadn’t realized that he stopped making that noise a while ago. It was such a sweet sound. I just can’t believe how much he has already changed.

I just love our little man so much. What a great blessing. I could just stare at him for hours in amazement. How remarkable our GOD is that he could take and egg and a sperm and turn it in to a human and that that human grew in my belly!! Wow!! I will forever stand in awe of HIS capabilities.

The Day GOD Helped Me Install a Trailer Hitch

Becky and I decided to install a trailer hitch on our amazing Town and Country so Never Say When could be comfortable when we traveled on tour this summer. We ordered the hitch and it arrived on Wednesday of last week. If you know how much I know about cars and stuff, you would probably laugh if I said that Becky and I wanted to install it ourselves to save some money. I read the instructions and figured out what tools we needed. That evening I drove to Farm King and picked up a 3/8" drive socket set and a set of wrenches in case I needed them. I also picked up the ball mount for the hitch. Then I went to AutoZone and rented a 3/8" drive torque wrench on their Loan-a-Tool program that a friend had told me about. This way I could use the new sockets I just got on the torque wrench. I got home and figured out that the 3/8" drive torque wrench gives inch-pounds of torque and I needed foot-pounds of torque from a 1/2" drive torque wrench for this project. So Becky and I headed back out in a wicked storm and returned the socket set and got a 1/2" drive set then returned the wrench and got one with a 1/2" drive. Then Barry, who told me about the Loan-a-Tool program, allowed me to use his jack stands.

GOD thing #1: I got all the tools I needed without having to spend a lot of money on stuff that I would rarely use.

Becky and I had an open day today. I was very anxious and excited to get the hitch on! I went out and got the van up onto the jack stands as high as they would go. The van wasn't super stable, but I thought it was stable enough. The first thing in the instructions had me taking off a bumper bolt that required an 18mm socket. Though the set I bought didn't have an 18mm, I assumed a 17 or 19 would work well enough.....WRONG. Becky decided she wanted to go with me to get the new socket which meant getting the van down so we could take the baby in the car seat. I put the jack under the van and started lifting. Apparently I didn't get the jack straight on because it shifted the van and caused it to drift sideways. It bent the platform on both of the jack stands as they, along with the jack, got stuck under the van which was now back on its wheels. OOPS! I was able to get the broken jack and stands out, but I wasn't the happiest camper.

GOD thing #2: Becky decided to go with me to the store so the van "fell" when I was getting it down and no one was under it!

GOD thing #3: The van is not messed up! The jack and stands did not puncture or break any important things when they got stuck under the van.

So our trip to Farm King turned from a $6 trip to a $76 dollar trip. We got the 18mm socket, sturdy new jack stands, a new jack and a much happier Nathan.

GOD thing #4: GOD provided us with some savings so Becky and I didn't have to freak when we had to spend some unexpected money.

We got back to the apartment and I got to work again. I wanted to move quickly because it looked like a rain storm was coming. I got the van back up and started to remove bolts. I followed the directions which had me remove the brackets for the rear stabalizer bar. When we held the hitch up in position, I found that I was following the wrong set of directions (it came with 2 sets for differing vehicles). I quickly found that I didn't need to take off the stabalizer bar brackets and it should be easier than planned! I continued working and figured I would put the bar back on when I was done. I found that one of the nuts that was built into the frame was giving me a problem because it somehow got stripped or something. This made it hard to get the bolt in, but thankfully the torque wrench gave enough leverage to smash it in tightly (even to the correct amount of torque according to the directions).

GOD thing #5: The messed up nut ended up taking the really difficult bolt!

The most finicky part of the project was next. I had to feed a spacer and a bolt up into the enclosed frame through a hole so the bolt would come down through the spacer and through the hole so I could put a nut on the bolt outside the frame. I managed to get the spacer in but the bolt would not fit through the hole it was supposed to go through. I didn't know what to do since it was one of only three bolts on each side of the hitch. I had to have it and it didn't fit though the hole. On a whim I tried to put the bolt through another hole and it fit! And guess what? This hole would have been half-covered by the stabalizer bracket that I took off by mistake! If I wasn't following the wrong directions I probably would have given up because this bolt just didn't fit!

GOD thing #6: I followed the wrong directions and accidentally uncovered the hole that allowed me to get the bolt into the frame.

I put the stabalizer bar back on and double checked the torque on all the hitch bolts to make sure they were tight enough according to the directions. I was done as it was just beginning to sprinkle.

GOD thing #7: GOD held off the rain.

GOD thing #8: The hitch is on and ready!


GOD is good,
Nathan

Baking Soda & Vinegar, My Good Friends.

So, I have just recently become acquainted with 2 awesome products: baking soda and vinegar. I am just amazed by how many uses these two products have and how well they work! And the best part...they are completely natural! I could eat them and be just fine!! I can breath them in and they wont hurt my little growing baby. Awesome, right?! So, among the many uses for these two products -kitchen cleaner, getting rust off things, stain remover, degreaser, laundry detergent, etc - I have just discovered that vinegar + baking soda = an awesome drain declogger!!

Our drain in the shower has been super clogged for quite some time. Every time we shower the the tub fills about half way with water and leaves a gross film around the tub. Bummer. So, I decided to try and use my two new favorite products to clear out our drain. And IT WORKED!!

So, here is the procedure:

-What you will need: a 1/2 a cup of baking soda and 1/2 a cup of vinegar

-What to do: First pour (or shove) the 1/2 a cup of baking soda down the drain, then pour the 1/2 a cup of vinegar down the drain. Next enjoy the bubbling effect that occurs when you mix the two. Now, shove a drain stopper over the drain and leave the mixture in the drain for about a half hour. After the half hour, run your faucet as hot as it goes for about 2 minutes. Repeat this process if needed.

We had to repeat this process 3 times before ours was completely declogged, but it is working perfect now!! How exciting.

Hope someone out there finds this as exciting as I do! :)

Take care all.

Birthing Pool Test Run

Yesterday we received our birthing pool in the mail!!! How exciting!!! According to the directions we were required to fill the pool and test it out with in 48 hours of receiving it. So, last night was our birthing pool test run night!! So much fun. It was so easy and fast. The pool is sturdy and oh so comfortable. It was so easy for me to move around and shift my weight (which isn't such an easy thing to do these days). I am sooo excited to labor in it. Here are some picture of our test run.

9:42pm Here's Nathan clearing off the coffee table that must be moved to make space for the tub

Here are some of the extras the kit came with: a thermometer, a debris net, sanitation scrub, instructions, a floor tarp, and a pool liner (for easy clean-up)

9:50pm Nathan hooking up the 25 foot hose that came with the pool using the yellow y-valve that also came with it

Lucy inspecting the hose...it was good :)

Lucy helping Nathan put the tarp out...she is so helpful.

Nathan "modeling" the awesome bag that the pool came with

9:57pm Tarp ready, pool ready...time to inflate!

10:03pm Getting there...that black pump came with the pool. It is an amazing dual action pump. It fills up the pool with both the down and up pump...it went so fast!

We discovered this on the bottom of the pool. :) No diving? Bummer.

10:12pm All done inflating. Now, for the water.

10:41pm Pool is all filled up to a sweet 90 or so degrees and Mama is in it and lovin it!! :)

Nathan and I enjoying our sweet birthing pool. We watched a comedy show (Thou shalt Laugh) from the pool. So awesome. Yesterday was a very hot day and our apartment was super warm so the watching comedy from a pool was a perfect way to end the day!!

We ordered our tub from www.yourwaterbirth.com. It is the La Bassine model. It is going to be such a great pool to birth in!! SSSOOOOO excited!!

We can't wait to post pictures using this pool to bring Guylan into the world gently!! Only 4-10 more weeks.

Much Love,

N&B (and G)

Hem of His Garment

There are some amazing stories in the Bible that don't get much "page time". With only a few sentences used to tell a radical story or give some very important advice. Things like this are so easy to just skim over and I sure have for many years, but during this season in my life God has been challenging me to really really read every word of his word and dig into the deeper meaning of things.

One of these stories is about a woman who is ill and receives radical healing from the Lord. A story I have just skimmed over many times because it is only four sentences long.

Matthew 9. 20-22 Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Jesus and touched the hem of his garment. For she kept saying to herself, "If only I could touch his garment I will be restored to health." Jesus turned, and seeing her, he said, "Take heart, daughter, your faith has made you well." And in that moment the woman was restored to health.

Now, when reading this story in context of the book of Matthew it is so easy to just read quickly over it. It is sandwiched between many other miraculous healings and words of wisdom. In the past, I would just read these four sentences and think,"Cool...another healing..." and move on to the next one. But today when I read this story it stopped me in my tracks. Today I identified with this woman and was blown away by her reckless audacity. Here she is a bleeding woman, most likely rejected by the community, considered unclean. So, even being out in public must be a big deal. She climbs into a crowd full of those who reject her and toward Jesus, a very controversial man, just to pull on his clothes. Wow. If this were a scene in a well scripted movie we would all be biting our nails as we watch her put herself into a potentially embarrassing and maybe even dangerous situation. I mean, would you do this if you were her? I know if I were her I would be at home watching the crowd from my window thinking, "I should go, he will heal me, I know it....No, maybe he wont, he will just think I am crazy...wait, I have to go, I can't live like this any longer...but, will I even make it to him?" Can you imagine her mental battle before she took those first steps in his direction? Wow.

Just thinking of this story in this way changed it for me. But, more, what made this story stick out to me is its connection to me personally, today. I know a woman who is subject to bleeding. Not a woman of the past, put a woman I love and care deeply for. I know the woman in this story and have had many conversations with her of her pain and lack of comfort. I have listened to her tell me of the many medical efforts that have been make over a 20 year span to restore her health. She may not be reject by her community, for not many know she has had to deal with this issue for so long, but it has sure brought embarrassment more times than she would have liked. I have been able to watch her reach out to God recently and I am ready for Jesus to turn to this sweet woman and speak, "Take heart, daughter, your faith has made you well." That is my prayer.

What an amazing God we have that he is capable and desires to heal us of all our ailments.

I believe.

Beck

Guylan: The Meaning

Nathan and I have given our little boy the name Guylan because we like it. (I told the story of the creation of Guylan's name in a previous post.) So, I was having a conversation with one of our friends, Nick Self, just a few days ago and he encouraged me to look in to the meaning, origin and definitions of his name. So I did and found some very interesting things!! Here is the meaning of his name:

When I looked up "Guylan" I got nothing. There were only two websites who even acknowledged Guylan as a name at all. So, I decided to look up "Guy" since that is the name we started with. According to a few different sources Guy could mean a few different things. From a German origin it means, "wood." Not so exciting, I know. From Welsh it means, "lively." Now, this one has already proven to be true. I could feel Guylan dancing in my belly at 16 weeks!! We definitely have a very lively baby. In Old German Guy means "warrior." This one is pretty cool. I also really like that in French Guy means "guide." Very cool, huh.

I think my favorite part of the Guy name research was when I wondered across the definition of "guy" in the dictionary. Of course it could just mean "a young man", but it also means "An object to steady , guide, secure of embrace something with." How cool is that!! That was by far my favorite definition!! :)

I sure can't wait to watch our son, Guylan, grow and fulfill his purpose in this world. We love you little Guy.

Belly Pictures and a Video

We have taken some photos over the last two months and a video documenting my belly growth. Its so interesting to look back at every photo. I remember feeling SO BIG at for each one, but I just keep getting bigger. Hehe... So, here they are:



19 weeks along...




21 weeks along...


24 weeks along...


Still 24 weeks...

Here is a video from our last appointment with our AMAZING midwife, Brande. Nathan was able to catch Guylan's heartbeat on our camera. It is really quiet at first because Nathan's finger is blocking the mic. Give it a sec and Nathan moves his finger and you can here the 'woooosh wooosh woooosh" of Guy's healthy heart!! Best sound ever!!



Enjoy.

It's been so long!!

So, here we are in Rushville, IL at "Peace of Earth." This is where Dale is doing his internship. Awesome place!! We decided to come to him this week for a band practice. It took us about 50 minutes to drive 31 miles. We aren't going to tell Dale we got a little lost. Oh well. :)

We are all just sitting and hanging out before we get to jamming. I realized that Nathan and I haven't written a blog in quite a long time!! So, here I am just writing to check in and give a little update about what has been going on since our last blog.

We have found out that we are going to be the parents of a little BOY!! We have already chosen a name: Guylan Micah Holland. We have had his name picked out for quite some time. Nathan has always liked the name Guy. I like it too, but it sounded like a very grown up name for a baby and I wanted something that we could shorten. So, Nathan told me to come up with something I liked to add to the name. So, I just started adding endings to Guy and Guylan was a perfect match. I was very excited to find out that when you look up Guylan on baby name websites they say it doesn't exist. So happy our son will have a unique name that is still beautiful and not way out there. We chose Micah for his middle name after Nathan's big brother. Nathan and I both admire and look up to him and look forward to him passing on all sort of wisdom to our baby boy. As a side note: If we have another boy in the future we plan on giving him Nathan's other and bigger brother's name as a middle name: Joshua. :) We feel so blessed that all of Guylan's uncles and aunts will be greatt sources of knowledge and wisdom. (Love you guys!)

We can't wait to hold you baby Guylan!! :)

Let's see what else has been going on:

-Well, we spent Christmas in Franklin, TN with the Cantlon/Davis side of the family. Always an enjoyable experience. :)
-Spent New Years with the Holland side of the Family!! Also very enjoyable. Can't wait till Guylan and Lilah can play together.
-Never Say When went on a 2 week winter tour through out the midwest to celebrate the release of our FRIST ALBUM!!!
-Oh, yes...NEVER SAY WHEN RELEASED OUR FIRST ALBUM!!! Give us a call or e-mail if you want to buy a physical copy or check it out on itunes, cdbaby.com or just about any other place you can download music.
-Nathan started his LAST semester of college

I am sure there are more exciting events to add to that list, but my brain is drawing blank.

Here are 2 pictures from our sonogram. Have fun trying to decipher them. :)


Here is "THE PICTURE". So sorry my sweet Guylan for posting your private parts...I promise I will take them off line by the time you start dating (when you are about 20 years old). :)


Here is Guylan's face. He is laying sideways. Look at those chubby cheeks!! :)

18 weeks pregnant tomorrow!!

We just had an amazing Christmas with my family here in Nashville, TN. Now, we are getting ready to head to Rockford, IL to spend a late Christmas with Nathan's family on New Years. We are very excited about that!! We will get to be with Nathan's whole family at one time!! It is so rare that all of us get to be together all at once!! Yay!!

Nathan just took some pictures of me for our 18 week celebration. Here they are:

Checking in...

I am 16 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. I am dying to feel the baby inside me. I want to feel it moving or kicking…something!! It is so weird to be getting bigger and feeling the effects of being pregnant, but not be able to feel my baby yet! I’m ready, God, let me have it! ☺ Man, I am just not very good a being patient. I want to be holding our little one in my arms already.

I read in my pregnancy book that the baby can now hear pretty well and is learning our voices. So, I have been singing to the baby for the last few weeks or so. I learned in college that babies can learn while in the womb and can show preference between songs, stories, and peoples voices. These things they heard a lot in the womb can also comfort them once they are born. So, I have been singing the same couple songs to the baby. Nathan also sings to the baby. Sometimes it’s a real song. Sometimes it’s something he made up just for the baby. While he is down there singing to the baby, I have him tell the baby, “It’s okay to kick mommy because she wants to feel you.” So far the baby hasn’t listened yet. I guess we are going to have to teach it the skill of listening to what daddy says. ☺

I have been feeling good lately. Very energetic. Very happy that my cold in gone. I just have some congestion, but it sounds worse than it feels. I have read numerous places that most pregnant women experience congestion for most of their pregnancy, so I am not concerned.

Well, just wanted to check in for the morning. I have to head off to work at the café 11-1, then teach music lessons from 3-6. I hope all my students show up today!

Hope everyone is doing well.

P.S. I have been looking at our wedding pictures lately. So, I thought I would post some of my favorites. Here they are:

We Missed Something!!

Becky here. As I was reading though our blogs I realized we have left out some recent events.

Nathan and I are in the car now, driving in raining weather, to Winnebago, IL to spend the week of Thanksgiving with Mama and Papa Holland. I thought, what could be a better time to catch everyone up than during a 4 hour car ride. So, here are a few recent happenings and some pictures for your enjoyment!!

MOVING AGAIN.

Just a few weeks after we found out I was pregnant, I went in to our rental office to pay rent. As normal, a conversation struck up with the ladies that run the place, Trina and Marlene. I have formed a great relationship with them. I am a talkative gal and they are as well, so they have always known what is going on in my life and I in theirs. They knew me as a single lady when I moved in to my one bedroom apartment. Then, they watched me change my name on the lease and add Nathan’s as we got married. And now, only 2 months after our wedding, here I am at the office telling them I am pregnant! They were very excited for us and immediately asked if Nathan and I would be moving into a 2 bedroom apartment. I told them that we would LOVE the extra space, but we surely could not afford the rent. At the time we were paying $540 a month for our one bedroom and that plus our other bills was expending our money each month just fine. We didn’t think it was wise or necessary to stretch ourselves with a much bigger rent (2 bedrooms generally go for $700-750 in our building). I also didn’t want to be moving in the 8th month of my pregnancy when our lease was up, then have to repaint and nest in a new place. I told them this and Trina thinking out loud said, “Well, we normally charge around $700 for a 2 bedroom because it is two students sharing the rent. Then they are only paying $350 each, and that’s a good deal.” I agreed with her there. Then she said, “But you and Nathan are married and expecting a baby. So, how does $595 sound?” I nearly jumped up and down. But thought an answer of, “I will have to run that past my husband, but thank you so much for the offer,” was the best thing to say. Then I thought to ask if there were even any 2 bedrooms open. They said they would have to check. I mentioned that when I was walking from one side of the apartment building to the other to do laundry I noticed an apartment on the second floor that was empty and looked like a 2 bedroom. “Is that one available?” I asked. Marlene said, “That one’s not empty. They have their lease until February.” I told them that it has looked very empty for a few weeks or so and remembered watching them move all their stuff a while ago. So, we went over that apartment to see what was going on and it WAS empty. The people who had lived there just picked up and moved out without telling them anything! I bet they are in trouble. But this was working out well for me. The apartment looked great except the carpets. They were really old and dirty yellow shag with brown speck that I could not be sure were supposed to be there or were just filth. There were also holes warn into the carpet or burnt into it. Whoever had lived in that apartment had not been very nice to it at all. Trina told me the apartment was ours if we wanted it. I was excited, but the carpets were a deal breaker for me. I explained this to her and asked her if they could replace them. She said, “Well, a baby couldn’t very will crawl on THESE carpets.” We painted the apartment that weekend. Thanks to Ma and Pa Cantlon for funding the repaint and to our great friends Dale, Amanda, Becky, Devin, Joel, and Jessica for helping with the labor and Grandma Dorothy for funding dinner for the laborers!! ☺ Maintenance replaced the carpets the next week and we moved in the week after!! We have lived for a month or so now and LOVE it. It is so much bigger than our old place. AND the baby has it’s own room!!!! We are so excited to meet our little Holland. Here are some picture of the place.

Here is the living room:


And the other half of the living room:


Our messy dining room/office area. As you can see I am not done organizing this part. :)


The kitchen:


Bathroom:


The baby's room - a work in progress!


Our bedroom:


The other half of our room:


Hope you enjoyed. Much love.

Second Trimester ALREADY!!!

Becky here!! Alright, so I know I haven't been writing on here a lot. I really want to, but life is very full currently. I promise I am going to make a better effort at it from now on!!

So, this past Tuesday was the first day of my second trimester!! Wow!! I am in my 4th month of pregnancy! I sure cannot believe it. Our little baby is going to be here before we know it. Only 6 months left!! I was reading my pregnancy book, that my mama got me, and according to it our baby is about 4-6 inches long and weighs about .25 of a pound! The baby has been growing and changing so quickly. I sure have found such a deeper love, passion and fascination with God through this time. As I have been learning about how a baby forms and how many intricate things are happening all at once and how many of those intricate things could go wrong...it amazes me that anything goes right!! God is sure a great creator. There is no doubt in my mind that he is behind all the creation of our world. Speaking of growing and changing...I have been doing some of that myself! According to the book my mama gave me if you haven't started wearing maternity pants by this time in your pregnancy you are doing really good. That made me feel good because although I had to say good-bye to two of my pre-pregnancy pants, I can still wear most of them!! :) At my last doctors appointment I had only gained one pound. I have my next appointment next Thrusday...I will let you know how it goes.

Nathan and I took a picture of my stomach as soon as we found out we were pregnant. This was at about 4-5 weeks. I thought it was only appropriate to mark the monumental occasion of entering my second trimester by taking another picture of my belly. There is not too much of a change, but when I look back and forth between the two pictures I can tell a difference. Can you see the difference? At this point I don't feel all to pregnant...more just that I am getting chubby. I wonder if people look at me (who don't know I am pregnant) and think....humm, she is gaining weight! Hehe...I will show them in a few more weeks I will be unmistakably pregnant! I am really looking forward to that time. So, here are the pregnant pictures of me....hope you enjoy!!


Here I am at 4-5 Weeks pregnant


And here I am now at 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant!!

Updates

So, it's been a while since the last post. There has been a lot going on! Never Say When is done mastering their cd and is getting ready to put ISRC codes on the songs, copyright the material, then send the master out to have the replication process done! Hopefully all of this work will pay off by having the finished product in hand by the end of November.
And of course there has been a lot of talking about our baby! We have had our first sonogram and heard it's heartbeat! 186 bmp. And we saw the baby wiggle a little! What a miracle. 8.5 more weeks until we get to figure out whether it is going to be a girl or boy. We have decided to not go with pink or blue. We like neutral colors. We were thinking that we were going to do animals as a theme, but are now thinking that we will be doing brown and white. Thanks to all who are offering us baby stuff! We are so blessed to have family members and friends who love us enough to offer to help us in so many ways!
So, we currently travel with Never Say When on most weekends. This entails packing the car with people and luggage and instruments. Since we will be adding a car seat, child, pack and play, stroller, and baby bag to this mass of things, we thought it might be a good idea to look for something with a little more cargo room.....A MINI VAN! And with that thought we automatically lost 10 cool points. But that's okay, we were very excited to be able to stretch out our legs on long trips rather than curling up in a ball in the backseat in order to sleep. I say "were excited," because it didn't happen like we thought it would. Here's the story:
Becky and I get excited when we found some time to look for a van. The first place we went to was Urban Motors - a branch of a used car dealership from Chicago. We looked at a conversion van that we thought looked comfy but decided it would not be fun to drive around town all the time. So we looked at the Ford Windstar (1998, 127000 miles) next to it. After looking at another minivan that smelled like a child's vomit on the inside, we decided that the Windstar looked really clean inside and out. After talking to the salesman who said he could probably do an even trade for our car we left, telling him we might be back. We Carfaxed Becky's car and the Windstar and found that they both had very clean records. It seemed that we were getting a great deal for the van and the salesman, in turn, was hasty to make a deal since he was getting the more marketable car (what college kid is looking for a mini van...oh wait, me). We went back and test drove the van and immediately found something goofy and unexplainable with the brakes. We had a knowledgable friend check it out and he could not explain the odd grinding feeling either. I figured it had to be the ABS (especially since the ABS light was on). We took it back to the dealer and said that there was something goofy going on with the brakes. He immediately said that he would fix it. Easier than I thought. So we told him that the handle on the inside of the sliding door was not working and he agreed to fix that too. Wow...nice guy. We left telling him that if those were fixed we'd be interested in making a deal. The next day, Becky made some calls to bigger dealers in Macomb and asked what they could do for us. The best we could get from them was a decent van for our car plus about $3000. Since our goal was to not spend any money we asked the second dealership if we would be getting a good deal for the Windstar. He said that we were probably getting a fair trade but we should test drive the van and take it to PM Auto - a local independent mechanic's shop. We went to test drive the Winstar with high hopes. The salesman handed us the keys and said that the brakes were new and we were ready to go. We drove the van to the auto shop and the brakes were fixed! After about a half hour at the shop, the mechanic came out with a list of abou $1750 of work that needed to be done in order for the van to not break down immediately. And guess what...the brakes were only about 50%. Lame. So we took the van back to the dealer, told him we were going to walk away and showed him the list of problems with the van. His response was that they were all routine things that exist because the van was older. Um...no. There were fluids mixed in with other fluids due to a leak. There was a fluid that was supposed to be a light color and was black due to metal shavings. Both tierod ends were bad and could break, easily causing a fatal accident on the highway. There was a bad rear bearing. It pretty much needed a new radiator. These problems may exist because they have developed over time as the vehicle got older, but they are not routine things. They should have been taken care of a long time ago. We could have bought the van and died in it the next week. Or at least been $2000 in debt. Thanks, Urban Motors, for a poor first car shopping experience. Did I mention that our mechanic said that he's seen a lot of bad stuff come out of this particular dealership? Huh. I wonder why. Wait, no I don't. I'VE seen bad stuff come out of the dealership. I dont' think that I will be going back there. Apparently, you can't even trust the used car dealer in a small town. And now I am done spewing my anger about Urban Motors.
So the van search may go on if GOD decides he wants to put something in our past. But we see that GOD provides even if his answer is "No, Hollands. Wait for a different vehicle." He has ultimate control. I think of how disappointed I get because I can't go get in my new van to drive to Rockford this weekend. But then I realize how great GOD is that I am not unsuspectingly getting in a dangerous van to drive down the highway at 2 am!
Well, I hope you enjoyed the story and are keeping your feelers out for anyone who wants to trade their good condition van for a 2000 Pontiac Grand Am in good condition!

the Hollands

It's a Baby!!

So Becky and I have been rearranging our apartment to make room for the baby that is to be here in about nine months! That's right...we're rediculously excited to be pregnant. While this was not "the plan", we are immensely blessed and proud that GOD would consider us worthy of bearing a child! We found out one week ago today...on Monday. After Becky's body was doing some unusual things and she was two days late for that certain time, we went and took four pregnancy tests that all proved positive. She took an official test today at the Health Dept. and it's still a go! The first positive test resulted in me being excited and Becky covering her mouth, turning BRIGHT red, and crying. She didn't know how to feel at first because all she could think of was the birthing process...ouch! But, we have gotten over that and are super excited that we're going to have a little baby.
We have rearranged our bedroom to fit a crib and a changing table. The baby's going to have to sleep in our room since it is only a one-room apartment. We thought about moving, but Becky wants to stay put so we can be completely settled and comfortable when the baby comes (and not unpacking when she is 8 or 9 months along).
Since we are in a band and will be playing at Cornerstone around the time the baby is one-month old, we have looked into the protective earmuffs for infants. The adorable things cover most of the baby's head! I can't wait to have my baby at a gig wearing those! Anyways, they are not recommended for kids under 6 months since their head is so soft. I guess we'll have to go with the earplugs or babysitter for the first few loud gigs.
Speaking of loud gigs, Never Say When just played at Auburn Christian Church in Auburn, IL. What a blessed time! This is definitely one of our top gigs so far. We played for about an hour, had wonderful sound up on stage (which can be a huge treat to musicians), got free food, got a great and unexpected love offering, were able to help kids raise money to go to CIY, and met some really great people! We signed some autographs, including a girls arm. Dale is definitely turning out to be the heartthrob of the band! Who would have guessed? huh. lol. It is times like those that show me that GOD has us in the right place with music!
Well, I'm going to do some homework!

the future daddy - Nathan

Drum Circle!!!

So I am sitting at Cafe Aroma listening to Amy (a percussion professor) run a drum circle with a bunch of people including Becklynn. Man, how awesome! As I am enjoying this music I will give you an update on, well....us. Becklynn is doing really well working at Aroma as the Music and Arts Manager. This place is getting popular. Multiple Grr Records artists have contacted the Cafe with an interest in doing shows here. The Bethany Dillon show we did awhile ago went WONDERFULLY and business is going great with all of the students and professors back in town! Becklynn had her first visit to a homeopathic doctor in Monmouth, IL this week. She needed to go see someone since all of the natural thyroid meds are on a national backorder! What a great deal of wonderful information and insight she came away with! Thankfully she is healthy. Oh yeah, and she is not pregnant this month! lol. So has anyone lost that bet yet?
I'm doing pretty well in classes. I LOVE my electronic music class. I automatically get three hours a week in an electronic music studio here on campus. It is packed with some SWEET synthesizers and other gear. I can already tell that I'm going to have a lot of fun with that. Oceanography is pretty fantastic. GOD definitely knew exactly how to make a perfect working system. (By the way, Amy is now teaching Becklynn a dance in the middle of the drum circle which now has a sweet groove going with Dale on his Stratocaster and Devin rocking his bass guitar!) I'm in a choir for the first time in my life and it is pretty enjoyable. The human voice can act as a beautiful instrument. My other classes are also going well and my schedule has not gotten insane with homework yet. This makes me a happy puppy!
Now for some randomness. Becklynn and I were gone with the band playing at Central Christian Church in Rockford, IL this past weekend. It was a great gig as usual, but when we got home we found the apartment very smelly from the cats. I guess they decided that their litter box was too smelly so they wanted to use the floor. EEEWWWW!!!! So we cleaned that up, but the apartment still smelled like a moldy, wet towel a couple days later. We thought that maybe it was our homemade cat litter (which has been working fabulously by the way), then realized it was the blanket that was laying on the ground in the living room. Someone urinated on it! Gross! So we cleaned that and the apartment still smelled. Becky ended up putting baking soda all over the carpet and sweeping it up and, thankfully, the smell is gone! It is nice to have a clean apartment that does not smell like a giant, moldy litter box. lol.
Becklynn and I are down to our last bottle of sparkling cider from the wedding. The caterer only put one bottle on each table at the reception instead of two. This means that Becklynn and I got to take home two boxes of it. Sorry if you didn't get any at the wedding. If it's any consolation, it is delicious! (Dale and Amy are now "talking" musically with their guitar and drum...fascinating!)
Dad, if you're reading this, I've been wearing the Harley hat you gave me for my bachelor party lately. Thanks, I'm really digging it. Now I just need the Harley to go with it. And yes, the Wii (and other gifts) have been used as well!
I'm signing out... Love ya'll.

Nathan